Well handled, minus the unicorns. Tangentially relevant: I just wish Github offered some sort of an academic plan for students, no private repo means that I cannot use Github at all not because I'm building closed-source software, but because I (obviously) can't put my assignment work for public viewing before the assignment deadline. So I've been using Bitbucket, which is fine and all, but I would have loved to be a part of Github community.
If you prefer command-line usage, I'd recommend Gitolite [2]. It allows you to give people access to git and only git (as opposed to git's built-in system, which requires granting ssh shell access); and it only uses one OS-level user/group regardless of how many people it's managing.
Either of the above solutions are for your compsci professors who are clued-in enough to be comfortable with CLI in general and Git in particular.
If you're trying to give files to technically clueless humanities professors, I'd suggest only using Git privately, to develop your paper or whatever, then using a plain old email attachment, or hosting on an HTTP server, to submit the assignment. Or going really old-school by printing out an old-fashioned dead-tree hardcopy.
Of course, all of these solutions (except email attachments and printouts) require running your own server, which is actually a great learning experience. I'd recommend prgmr.com for hosting; their smallest plans should be able to fit even an undergrad's budget, and you have full root access to your (Xen VM) system, so you can do all kinds of fun and exotic experiments. It's not necessary for basic usage, but you can install any version of any Linux distro, use LVM, even use a custom-compiled kernel or FreeBSD (the only requirement is guest Xen patches). It's great because if you have problems, they give you access to an ssh-based out-of-band console, rebooter, and rescue image so you can fix them yourself. (By contrast, many other hosts require you to make changes through some half-baked web UI that lacks half the tools you need, require you to install only approved distros and only do OS upgrades on an approved schedule, and require you to file tickets with lengthy turnaround times and/or fees in order to do the most routine troubleshooting or maintenance tasks.)
Disclaimer: My only relationship with prgmr.com is that I've been their hosting customer for a long time (and very happy with them given the nonsense I've had to put up with from other hosts, in case you couldn't figure that part out from my above rant).
My only relationship with Gitolite is a project user. (I've created and maintained three small-scale Gitolite installations.)
I haven't used Gitlab, but I've heard good things about it.