The language is fine: It's the ecosystem that's not.

Nobody in the top 50 CS programs worldwide teaches COBOL. Most of the COBOL programs run on mainframe where it's at least a few k$ to even get a look at the documentation or hardware. So nobody bothers with it.

And most (older) programs don't folow modern conventions either. Custom application specific databases? Check. Lost source code/incomplete? Check. No version control? Check.

And most folks running these programs are in orgs that are chronically underfunded anyways.

Maybe COBOL needs a Racket-type implementation that can be hacked upon to make it cool again.

Have you tried COBOL ON COGS?

http://www.coboloncogs.org/INDEX.HTM