I would really like it if these fancypants keyboards came in a layout other than the crunch-all-your-fingers-together-in-the-middle-for-extra-RSI design that the keyboard nerds seem to adore
I feel like you're out of the loop when it comes to keyboard nerds. Check out the dactyl-manuform [0]. The days of tiny 40/60 keyboards are gone, they aren't cool anymore (joking of course, use what you want).