(Serious)
I really want to learn either Vim or Emacs but I've never been able to decide which one to learn. Every time I've tried to search about this topic I end up in petty wars. Help?
I was sort of in your situation a while ago and wanted to learn vim, but was a bit put off by all the legacy that it carries (also spoiled by sublime's multiple cursors).
I then discovered kakoune[1] and liked its design. I started getting familiar with it and using it more and more, and I think its core is much more solid than vim/emacs. It definitely doesn't have the same community support and plugins but it's already quite feature rich.