I would pay so much money to just be able to use Windows 7's UI with Windows 10's performance improvements.

Try spinning Windows 7 up in a VM sometime. Using it is such a wonderous experience. It's almost perfect. I miss it so much. To me, Windows 8/8.1/10/11 have all been massive downgrades to different extents.

You can have at least Win 7 start menu on Win 10: https://github.com/Open-Shell/Open-Shell-Menu

It's fast, reliable and highly configurable.