Every time I read about Rust I have to fight the urge to drop everything and just chase it. So much awesome going on over there.
We've been using stuff like phantom types in Haskell for years, where have you been?
Being scared away by laziness, monads, and people generally talking like math geniuses, I guess.
You're at least being honest by saying it's about fear - because it is.
I teach Haskell to experienced programmers and people that have never written code before. I know nothing about math, I dropped out of uni after one quarter, I have not studied math since that time. Most of my students didn't know any math and weren't any worse for it.
https://github.com/bitemyapp/learnhaskell
If you start going through the guide and get stuck, I will help you.
Only fear can stop you, be brave!