...and then I discovered Haskell.

...Until I found out that Haskell is just a fancy C for-loop generator.

GHC is considerably more sophisticated than that. It can do weird and wonderful things C programmers might only dream of.

Considering GHC is still implemented in C I would consider this not true. Impractical: probably. Impossibru: No.

I'd hardly call 81% Haskell "implemented in C".

https://github.com/ghc/ghc