I still find it very confusing that the active tab does not 'extend' to the content, but is separated by a shadow. I often mistake the inactive tab for the active one, because it's background is almost closer to the content.

Agree, if anyone knows themes that make this better I'd love to know

Highly suggest checking out Firefox-UI-Fix [1]. I use it everywhere I use Firefox, and it makes the browser usable.

[1] - https://github.com/black7375/Firefox-UI-Fix