Can you convince me to use Java? I’ve never used it (only C++, Python, CL) but it feels bloated and dirty.

How could you possibly like C++ but feel that Java is bloated?

Like I academically understand disliking Java but this just makes no sense.

I'll answer your question with a question: Have you seen https://github.com/EnterpriseQualityCoding/FizzBuzzEnterpris... ? :)

I'm guess that to those of us who remember when Java came out, "FizzBuzz: EE" is what we think of when we think of Java. :P

In Java I have to type a bazillion characters to get anything done! And make all these useless directories and files and InterfaceClassFactoryProtocolStreamingSerializer BS. And worry about how that executes.

C++? No bloat*, just speed

*Yes, there's some _optional_ bloat. But compared to Java? no contest.